To give myself a break from all the hard and heavy reading I had to do over the past months I ordered Blood Books Vol I by Tanya Huff this morning. I checked back with my bank acount and I had enough money left, so I went ahead and bought it.

I'd been meaning to read it for a while, mainly because her name keeps popping up on my friends list, especially my Canadian and/or filking friends. Maybe I can get caught up with Blood Ties over the summer. I think it's really cool that Tanya Huff is also a filker, so I'm excited about the novels.

My plans for this summer were to rewrite my children's novel and work on some other pieces of original fiction. And then send them off to publishing houses because oh yes, I want to be a published author so badly.

But it seems like fanfiction is getting in the way - man, I love writing fanfiction so much. And I have thousands of projects I want to write. And I constantly find myself going "Just this tiny ficlet before I rewrite my original stuff". Which annoys me - annoys me muchly but I can't help it.

Maybe I like writing fanfiction so much because there is no pressure - sure, I work hard on making it good, but in the end no one is going to actually turn you down, no one is going to tell you you're not a good enough writer (or maybe some will, but most people will just ignore you if they don't like your stuff).

I think my plotbunnies for my original books are good. One of them is definitely pretty unique and would make a great book, if executed appropriately. And that's the point - I don't think I'm good enough to do that yet. I think what I'm most afraid of is to spoil the ideas.

So, am I a coward for not writing them? Am I one of those people who claim they're going to write a book but never do? Or am I smart to wait? I don't know.

Does anyone else have similiar problems? Any ideas how to deal with this dilemma?

(Also, my book shelves are completely overloaded again. Where am I going to put all my books? *pulls hair*)