This has really been a day of fanfiction-ism and that's why I'm writing this entry now. Just to make it clear from the beginning: No I DON'T think I'm an extremely gifted writer ... and this entry's purpose isn't fishing for compliments, really. It's just my view on...things...

Reasons to write fanfiction...

I loathe the term fanfiction. Really. It sounds like I was writing stupid lovestories basically revolving around an extremely witty & beautiful girl that's based on myself (or more on who I wish I was) and Legolas or whoever. I DO take writing a bit more seriously than that, even if that makes me sound like I'm a completely arrogant person. Writing has been my passion since I *could* write properly and for as long as I can remember I've made things up... or thought of stories more to say. Now this is where the infamous Andrea cuts in, but it's not going to be a rant about HER cause...it's just her view on things either, and I have to respect that. Andrea says she can't understand how you can get so 'obsessed with something you feel you have to write about it' plus 'What's the point in altering a story or adding something to it?'. I guess she thinks it's pathetic. Fine that's her point. Let me just explain mine...for maybe there are others among you who wonder about the same thing.

First: It's really not like I'm sitting in my room, staring at the ceiling an desperately trying to think of a story I could possibly write for a certain TV show or book or movie or whatever. I'm not. I think the thing is, that I'm very easily inspired...it's happened so often to me in the past that I was passing an old building or a certain place, that I was in the woods or on a field and suddenly a whole scene came into my mind, something that COULD have taken place there once. And it's been that way for as long as I can think back. And by the way, these scenes are usually no fanfiction, for I *do* write my own stuff as well. Anyway, I usually see this scene before my inner eye and then I go exploring... I ask myself what happened before or what followed it, who the characters were and this is how I make a story up. And then I write it down. Same with 'fanfiction' ... it's not like I *want* to make up my own story... it just happens. When I'm watching something, sometimes it's only a facial expression, a certain gesture that makes me ponder about a character; or it happens a lot that a director solves a problem differently from what *I* would have done it. These thoughts come naturally and it's nothing I can just shut up or lock away. It's a part of me. I just tend to ponder a lot about anything that is being created, about art in general.
I am a writer - not a good one probably, but a writer nonetheless. I sometimes feel I was born to write, no matter how the quality of my stories are. 'Isn't it just enough if you think of it? Do you have to write it down?'. Yes I have. Because ... few things are as releasing as writing, painting maybe. I like the process of writing, I love to introduce characters, I love to let them react on one another and most of all: I LOVE to explore them. For me it's the most gripping and exciting aspect of writing, to actually go into a character's mind and find out how he works, how he thinks, what he would do and what not. Even to create it. And even if it's not 'real' people I'm exploring I don't see what's wrong with it. One way or another, what I do most of the time is to write about people, about humans...and if someone else created them or I did it myself, does it really matter? I think not. But that's just me. And that what makes me keep on writing, and it never gets boring. And I can't see what's so pathetic about that. And I don't think it has anything to do with being obsessed by something. Of course I wouldn't write about Harry Potter or LOTR if I didn't like it but... is it naturally obsession if I try to explore and develop characters that were created by someone else?
'But you don't have to put it online and pretend to be a super-gifed author' Guess what...99,5% of what I write has never been read by someone but me, and never will be unless it's publish posthumously. Because I don't feel the need to share it or because I think it's crappy. But yes, I *do* put some of my fanfiction online every now and then. Because, I want to improve, because I take writing very seriously, and fanfiction is a good way of practising. Because, how am I ever going to improve if I don't 'publish' my stuff somewhere to have it criticised? To find out what works and what not? Of course, I'd lie if I said I didn't care about positive comments...everybody does. But my main ambition is to have response of any kind to the stories I put online. And I'm NOT fishing for compliments for I have actually two people who do my beta-reading and one of them I picked for the pure fact that she criticises a lot, but it is constructive criticism which I'm very grateful for... I guess I just want to say...

I'm not mad cause I write fanfiction. I write them to practise and because it's fun to expand characters, to let them react to different situations. And just because I take writing seriously it doesn't mean I think myself the new Kafka/Tolkien/Joyce/whoever. Fullstop.



Okay once again: Tis was NOT meant to be a Fishing-For-Compliments-Entry so don't feel yourself obliged to praise me now just because you don't want to hurt me... :o) This was just a rant for myself and I do understand if you don't even bother commenting this randomness! *lol*