I meant to tell so much but now I can't think of anything that would make sense. Hmmmm.

I can't stop thinking my life should be different, but I guess that's only because it's the holidays again and I spend most of my time at home being online cause my friends all live like two cities away (where my uni is), and I can't seem to get my ass up to visit them. I've also been meaning to phone them for a week. Heck, I'm such a jerk. I should stop getting so overly excited over movies and actors ... and get out and party. But then again... party-ing just isn't my thing, and though as much as I'd love to enjoy it and 'be young' I can't seem to do that. I feel uncomfortable with all the drinking and getting drunk (not myself, no no), and well... I'm not a nightowl. I get tired at 1am and then I just want to leave for my own bed. Yes.

And all the talk about guys and getting a bf ... it's just ... I know I never will and to be honest with ya... I don't even want to anymore. I'm entirely sick of this theme and I think I'm not a relstionship-person anyway. Not that I prefer to sleep around (surprise! :o) ) or so ... I just don't want any of it anymore. I guess I've been wanting it for so long that I finally 'lost interest' you know? It's hard to explain. I told you I was a jerk.